If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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