she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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