So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
