i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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