im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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