I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Someone shit on the floor
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize