Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
