No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
