when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
