dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
