hell yes lets make some ravioli
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
