I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
