It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
