I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
