Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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