so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
