Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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