I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
