Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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