GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
