Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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