actually, I'm a sock model
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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