is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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