You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
