haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
