it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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