When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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