AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
someone owes me an orgasm
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
