And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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