And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
