fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think people are normalizing furries
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
