you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
