fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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