We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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