I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
