Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
