Screwed.edu
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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