I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We are two peas in an std pod
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
