everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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