I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
