Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
