life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
