I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
