Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he just fucked me for my cheese..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
