I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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