So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
