sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
