I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize