why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
