Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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