She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
