hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you win again, gameday.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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