I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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