Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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