i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize