I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
