Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
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