sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize