Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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