im drinking this country out of the recession.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
