Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
