ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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