Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Found the puke drawer
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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