I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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